Do you ever feel like if you had a little bit more self-confidence, if you had a little bit more self-esteem,
if you could believe in yourself just a tad bit more, that you could be well on the way to achieving many of your goals and dreams?
Do you feel like a lack of confidence is getting in your way and that if you could solve that problem if you could learn how to overcome lack of competence, that you’d be well on your way to doing anything you want? Do you feel that way?
In this article, I’m going to walk you through steps that are going to teach you how to become more competent.
I’m going to walk you through proven psychological frameworks that are going to teach you how to build that subconscious level of confidence that you need to go out there and do some of the things that you’ve been meaning to do in the real world.
We’re going to talk about several different strategies to help you build your confidence today.
let’s talk about some of the different ways that you can build yourself confidence.
These are strategies that I have used to help millions of readers move in the direction of their dreams.
I’ve also worked with groups in students in many different capacities, helping them to get that confidence level that they need to achieve their goals.
Improve your Confidence
steps: 1 Tap into your Strength
If you want to sure up your self-confidence, one of the things you need to do is lean on and remember some of the natural talents and strengths that you already have.
You know a lot of people, they might lack confidence in certain areas, but it doesn’t mean that you are completely and devoid of skills and things to feel good about yourself, right?
So you have to focus on those aspects of yourself that are already somewhat good or on the way to being great, and if you move in that direction,
if you lean on some of those things, you’re going to have a much higher odds of following through in building an overall core of self-confidence that you’re going to be able to use in other areas of your life.
Step 2 playing games
So this is where playing games to win comes to mind. Step number one is playing games that you can personally win.
let’s say that you are trying to transform your life. You’re trying to have a level of confidence that you’re going to be able to use to follow through and have discipline.
The best way to build confidence is to build on the natural talents and strengths that you already have.
In my case, I gained an enormous level of confidence when I started focusing and working on things that I already had a bit of a natural inclination to do.
So I started learning how to become a better writer. I had always been told that I had the skill for writing and a friend asked me to write for his website.
So I used that initial little tiny blip of talent that was innate to me and I started building on that.
So if you choose a lane that you’re already predisposed to being successful at, you’re going to have much better odds of building that core level of confidence that you can use in other areas.
step 3 confidence is context-dependent
Understanding that confidence is context-dependent, right? You’re often very confident in some areas of your life and then you’re not so confident in other areas of your life.
This is why I recommend using that strategy of building up your core competencies first and using the well of confidence that you get from that and moving that into other directions.
So this technique of almost confidence arbitrage works well. So if you first play to your natural talents and strengths and build that exceeding level of confidence in that area, you can kind of arbitrage and insight and a little bit of that off and use it for other areas.
I use a lot of my confidence that I had in my professional career and I’m starting to use it in other areas of my personal life and it’s been working well for me so far.
Note:-So quick check-in. Tell me one area that you already feel confident in to a degree and then also tell me an area where you’re working to improve your confidence and take it to the next level.
Like I just explained, I’m comfortable on camera and public speaking, writing, communicating on that level.
when it comes to things like walking into a brand new networking event with hundreds of people, it’s a little bit harder for me to be confident in those situations.
So what I’ve done is, you know, before a kind of this Coronavirus epidemic, I was taking myself and putting myself into those situations, kind of networking situations that helped me grow.
And I remembered kind of reminded myself when I was in those environments like, Hey, I’m already successful in so many rights. Why should I be feeling any anxiety and these other situations?
And it kind of helped me bridge that gap and become more confident when I’m in situations of a new context that I’m a little bit unfamiliar with.
Step 4 The mental tricks to quickly build Confidence
always want to be creating, reinforcing feedback loops. So what do I mean by feedback loops? Feedback loops are sending little subconscious signals to your mind, telling yourself that you’re a winner or loser.
And the way to build more confidence is to add more deposits into that subconscious bank account, telling yourself that you are a winner.
And eventually, the more you stack those wins on top of each other more, you gain momentum and you create a snowball effect.
So the snowball effect helps you because the more momentum you gain over time, it becomes less and less difficult to maintain that momentum.
When you build confidence in certain areas of your life, it’s much easier to continue having more confidence in those areas.
So the way that I suggest you structure your life from start to finish is first chosen that area in the mission that is aligned with your natural talents and strengths.
You take that confidence, you build it in that area and you move it into areas where you’re less confident, where you’re trying to become a more well rounded, confident person
And then you’re going to create that snowball effect to where eventually you’re going to be so confident in the things that you do across the board that they’re going to become second nature to you.
You’re not going to have to think, you’re not always going to have to constantly doubt yourself or wonder if you have enough confidence and self-esteem to overcome certain challenges in your life.
But how do you, how do you overcome that initial gap in either direction? Some people will say, I’ll, I have such a low level of self-esteem, such a low level of confidence that I can’t do anything right now.
How do you develop something when you may be in many parts of your life?
Feel like you have little to no confidence, little to no belief that you’re going to be able to go through the actions and do whatever it is that, that lack of confidence is getting in the way of whether it’s following a goal in your life, whether it’s, um, having a better career, a business, whether that’s having a better network, whether it’s anything basically where you don’t feel up to par and you know that that’s getting in the way of your success.
How are you going to overcome what has seen such a monumental hurdle for many people basically in their entire life?
And the way that you do this is by creating the most minimum viable, my new possible goals to achieve confidence in any area as you can think of and build upon that.
I forget which book I read about this in, I think it was a book about a particularly talking about social skills and it talked about, uh, Dale Carnegie clubs.
Dale Carnegie clubs are similar to Toastmasters, which is another great organization that helps people deal with their confidence when it comes to socializing in public speaking.
So in the book, they tell the story of this person who was deathly afraid. I’m talking 0.0 confidence, not just in public speaking, but any level of socializing at all.
And this person got up on stage and they were shaking, visibly terrified of giving a talk and they didn’t even talk that long.
They talked for really a couple of seconds. And by all objective standards, it was one of the worst speeches in the history of the Dale Carnegie club.
So what are the members of this club do to help this person?
They gave this person a standing ovation and like sincere encouragement, telling them that it was good even though it was not.
Why would you, why would you do something like that? There is something to be said about this process of creating such a low bar for yourself, exceeding it, and then heavily congratulate yourself for it to make that feedback loop work.
So let’s say you’re having, you know, confidence issues when it comes to public speaking and socialized and you can visit a club like that and your participation level could be very, very low to start, but then you increase it over time and you become more confident.
You’re not confident in your ability to stay focused and disciplined to accomplish a longterm goal. you need to lower your criteria for what success looks like if you have no momentum whatsoever.
So a lot of people would like to be more confident in life. They would like to learn a lot about these psychological tricks so to speak. But it’s weird.
They don’t have the results they want, but they set the bar way up here when they have so much room to go, they look at what they would consider a supremely confident person in that area.
They look at that person and use that person as their measuring stick, which makes no sense. Like you have many different steps in between.
So you need to come from here and get like a centimeter better and then a little bit better and a little bit better over time.
And this works, from building confidence and overcoming fears. You know, they use this, these techniques in cognitive behavioral therapy a lot where, you know, someone’s afraid of a snake, they’ll show them a picture of a snake, they will show them a snake inside of a cage.
They will take the snake out of the cage and let them stand a couple of feet away from it.
They will eventually, um, pet the snake and then eventually they’ll be holding the snake and have it like wrapped around their neck, right?
So this is a gradual process, this exposure therapy, so to speak, this putting a little bit of resistance, and gradually making those steps to building more confidence.
It works. And what you have to do is remove your ego. So your ego tells you that you should be further ahead, but actually, it’s the elimination of your ego that helps you pay the path to build more confidence longterm.
Those are just a few of the steps that you can use to learn how to start overcoming your lack of confidence today. Look at the lanes that you could start being successful today.
Look, in some ways, you can get quick wins for yourself today and after that, there are a couple of different steps that you can take to help you move closer in the direction of your dreams.